Breaking Dawn Review from a Twi-Mom

All spoilers, all the time, warning issued!

It's a rare thing, when I enjoy a movie more than it's literary counterpart. When it happens, it usually happens BIG, and Breaking Dawn Part 1 was no exception.

At the risk of having my Twi-Mom card revoked,  I'll admit that I was disappointed in the last book. I won't go into detail, because who really cares? The movie was a blast and I prefer to dwell on stuff on love rather than things I didn't.

The wedding scene was great. Bella's dress was lovely, the front was very simple but the back design was extraordinary. I'm sure there's a whole symbolic meaning in this, but I'll think on that later. And I'm just going to come right out and say it: it was nice that Bella was able to wear white and have it be more than simply a nod to tradition. You go, girl!

I did roll my eyes when a sap-tastic song kicked in as vows were being exchanged, but the reception made me LOL many times. The speeches were hysterical! Charlie has guns and Jessica is captain of the volleyball team. Who knew, right? Ha!

Isle Esme was even more beautiful than I had imaged and people, that is a HARD thing to accomplish. Our heads can come up with some pretty insane stuff, can they not? And not to let the Big Event be swept aside, let's talk about sex, baby!

The book sex was what we all sort of expected from Stephanie Meyer. Kissy kissy, fade to black, wake up in feathers. It's a young adult book, we weren't going to get  a blow-by-blow account. (snicker) The movie took things a step further, but not so much that I was embarassed to have my thirteen year old daughter sitting beside me. It's was tastefully done, but with enough, er, passion, that we weren't left feeling... unsatisfied. (I've got a million of these. I need to stop.)

Bella and Edward's awkward moments before their First Time were very sweet, and mixed in with some humor I wasn't expecting. Bella shaved her legs. We've all been there, right? Awesome.

Now, Edward has always been kind of a tough sell for me. I adored him in the first bok, but I slowly started to get more and more of a creepy vibe from his relationship with Bella. There's always a moment when I give him - or Bella's reaction to him - the stink-eye, and this movie was no exception.

The morning after their bedroom-destroying First Time, we see Bella is covered in bruises. Okay, she'd been warned countless times physical intimacy with a vamp would be dangerous, so my sympathy meter for her was set pretty low. But then she immediately pointed out that it 'wasn't his fault' and I cringed. This was too close to the way many women are quick to forgive abuse, for my taste. I clenched my fist, and bit my tongue, and reminded myself this was fiction and moved on, enjoying the little salute to the book cover as the happy couple spent the next several days of their honeymoon playing chess. Party animals, these guys. And Bella's seduction attempts, omg. Craked. Me. Up.

When Bella finally figured out that Ms. Monthy was late, the story kicked into high gear, complete with some very in-your-face themes about abortion and choice, life and death, baby and fetus. I was not expecting this to be handled as well as it was. At all. I think this is where the movie made me a believer. At one point, Edward told Bella point-blank that he was never given a choice, and I silently cheered. These issues are relevant, they're real, they're filled with emotion on both sides. That the movie refused to back down here was impressive.

Now, let's talk about Bella's deterioration. The book did a great job of describing how the vampire-human hybrid creation was destroying Bella from the inside out, and I wasn't sure the film would do it justice. Guess what? I was proven Wrong. (Capitalization intended) Seeing this on the big screen was nothing short of cringe-worthy. This young woman was bruised and battered, starved, hollow-eyed with bones protruding that I desperately hope was simply created through movie magic. WOW.

The one part of the movie that did not work for me - and it kills me to say it - was the wolf pack. When Jacob and his crew were 'talking' in their wolf form, it came off like a cartoon. Bummer. I enjoyed this part of the book, but I guess some things only work when seen in italics.

The birth scene was brutal. The camera angle, giving us a birds-eye view of Bella's bloody, emaciated, ripped to pieces body lying motionless, was intense. My younger daughter looked away at this point, pressing her face into my shoulder. I was tempted to do the same, and I'm a person that digs zombie flicks. It all harkened back to the themes I pointed out earlier. Bella's choice to have the baby killed her. Make no mistake, she died on that table. The only reason Bella was able to 'survive' in some way, was because she had a poket-vamp on hand to turn her into an immortal at the last second. That all women could be so lucky.

I'm not sure the life-saving venom and Bella's transformation to vampire won't be a little confusing to those who hadn't read the book. I knew what was happening, I knew the change would take several days, that it wasn't normal for her to be silent and not writhing in agony, and that her heart would slow until it dramatically stopped. This was shown in an odd, montage fashion that might not work for everyone. I thought it was pretty cool. And when Bella's blood-red eyes finally snapped open..well, it was a perfect way to end.

The movie was a total sucess for me, on lots of different levels. It was dark, but infused with lots of humor. It was visually stunning. The characterizations were great. I felt for each and every one of them, and I understood their comflicting views much more than I had in previous installements. By the end, even the chip on my shoulder named Edward had slipped a bit.

I still have a crush on Charlie. And yeah, he really did look hot!

King Meh! True Blood already has me confused, in good ways.

(LOVE) Bill is King of Louisiana, which makes me wonder: who is King of Mississippi? Was Bill already working for the Queen when Nan approached him? Why didn't he keep the British accent? I don't care, it was all awesome and his new house rocks. Plus I love the dynamic of the power switch.

(WTF) Why did Sookie go to Bill's house to ask for help with her house? She didn't know Bill was King at the time, so what was she exepcting him to do? Challenge Eric to a duel at sunrise?

(LOVE) Eric building a cubby in (his) Sookie's house. Brazen, yes. Funny, hell yes.

(WTF) Why did Sookie get an attitude with Bill's guards and then walk right into his bedroom like she owned the place? Southern hospitality only extends so far, Sook! Be glad he wasn't naked and tossing off a robe or he might've been angry.

(LOVE) What's Nan's real agenda? I can't figure out her game OR the Authority's. Why did they want to mainstream in the first place? Was it just getting too hard in the technological age to BE a vampire? Were they running out of places to sleep during the day? Was there a grudge against the monarchy? Something is afoot here and I wanna know.

(WTF) Why did Sookie go to Fangtasia to see Eric. Was she prepared for her 'girls' to give him an answer? Was she going to beg for her house? Chew him out some more? However (LOVE) it was an excuse to see Pam, but it still makes no sense to me at the moment.

(WTF) Why did Felton pick Jason to be his surrogate baby-daddy? I'm glad he did, but it's a little weird.

(WTF) What is going on with Jessica? She compares going to the grocery to going to the morgue. She says human food is all dead, thus it should be obvious to Hoyt that it's repulsive to her. Hello Jess...YOU are dead. Self-loathe much?

(LOVE) Is Marnie nuts or is she possessed? I don't care, she's awesome.

(WTF) Is Arlene doing the self-fulfilling prophecy thing? If that baby isn't evil now, he will be with the mommy issues he's going to have. But (LOVE) seeing Terry with the baby was a consolation.

(LOVE) Is Sam going to kill Tommy so he can shift into another person? Will Tommy try to kill Sam? Will one of them kill mama Mickens? How could Sam keep his eyes on Luna's face?

(LOVE) Why did those spells only kick in when Laffayette joined the cirlce of crazy?

(WTF) So if the witches can bring a bird back from the dead, can they make a vampire 'alive' again?

(LOVE) Who are the 'friends in high places?' Do they have better toys than the Authority?

(WTF) Why is Fairyland so ridiculous? What's up with the lightfruit? Is Barry stuck there now?

(WTF) Where is Alcide's chest?

xoxo

(p.s. Jason is SO going to be hooking up with Jessica this season. Two new supernatural creatures, both turned against their will and trying to learn their new natures. Match made in heaven.)

Candy Hearts

Walgreens is killing me. Four rows of red and pink candy and cards and stuffed toys but not a single bag of Brach's Candy Hearts.

I really hate Valentine's Day.

February 14th. A day devoted to hearts and flowers and romantic frills. Who started this mess? I considered checking Google, the same way I've researched Groundhog Day and Arbor Day, but in the end I just don't care enough to tap the keys. So my personal knowledge base of Valentine's Day is comprised of memories, most of them ancient, but nonetheless a fairly good representation of all the reasons why I don't celebrate the 'holiday' today.

I used to, though.

Before my boring cynicism kicked in I had manage to stockpile some pretty crazy memories of the day. Let me dredge one up here. It's dusty with age, even soggy. Gross. But hey, not all of us keep our memories of childhood carefully hidden and pristine. I prefer to allow mine to play loose and free (mostly because I hope they will eventually escape my brain altogether and flee.)

1980 - my first love, his name was Craig. I was all of about 11 years old. Back in The Day we all begged and pleaded and fought to get the COOLEST boxed Valentines for the school V-Day card exchange. I remember sitting at the kitchen table carefully picking out the very BEST little fold-up card for Craig. I had some of those little candy hearts and I spent an extraordinary amount of time going through the bag and selecting exactly the right ones...the perfect phrase or word that would convey my true feelings for him and thus win him over!

Cool...Be Mine...Hot Stuff and...

*gasp*

LOVE!

I stuffed that little white envelope full of those darn hearts, so much so that I had to get a piece of tape to keep it closed.

When the Big Day arrived I was giddy with excitement. My little girl self was pitifully convinced that a perfectly chosen fold-up card and handfuls of pastel sugar cubes was the key to landing the boy of my dreams!

About an hour before the end of the school day we had our party. My mom was the 'room mother' so she showed up with all manner of goodies and I not-so-secretly hoped she wouldn't cramp my style when Craig asked me to 'go with him'.

(still not sure where everyone was 'going' but that was the big thing back then. You were totally a couple when a guy asked 'Will you go with me?' Strange phrases from a time when Kiss ruled and Ozzy was still coherent, but I digress.)

To make a dramatic story short, my true love, Craig, (as I watched) opened my envelope, dumped my carefully chosen candy hearts into the pile of candy he had accumulated from the other love-struck girls in class...and tossed the card in the trash.

Devastation!

My carefully constructed plan had failed and that same bitter ending befell maybe half a dozen other girls from the class. By the end of the exchange, Craig has amassed an impressive collection of candy and the trash can was piled high with the shredded remains of many a fifth grade girl's self esteem.

I remember sitting at my desk and hiccup-crying, sneaking glimpses at Craig as he popped one candy heart after another into his mouth, clearly oblivious to the emotional scars he'd inflicted. I tried to hide my pain but you can't hide much from your mom, can you?

My mother, God bless her, took time away from her room-mother duties to come over and comfort me as only a mother can:

"Dawn Jean!" she admonished way to loudly "We do NOT cry over boys!"

In hindsight it was some darn good advice I've managed to not-so-cleverly avoid.

I have no idea whatever happened to Craig. I wonder if being forced fed candy by every lovelorn female he encountered during his formative years propelled him on the road to poor dental heath. Sometimes I hope so. ;)

Kidding!

Happy Valentines Day!

Twilight Mom (really late) Eclipse Review

So I saw Eclispe at the midnight showing last week. Went with the chicas from work and other friends. We had several young'uns along for the ride, including one of mine. We showed up early and since the theater we were assigned to didn't have a movie playing before Eclipse, we got to spend our waiting time in the theater, in the best seats in the house.

"I love it when a plan comes together!" (okay, that was from another summer flick, but still, it applies)

I liked the first Twilight movie a lot, enjoyed the second one even more, but this one I think I luuuved and all because of one scene. Y'all know which one, right?

The beginning was odd, and I didn't realize at first the movie had even started because it began with a new character and a scene that was not depicted in the first-person novels. It didn't help the theater dudes and/or dudettes forgot to cut the lights, either. Seriously, I thought I was watching another preview so I don't believe I got that initial burst of excitement I was supposed to. Bummer. But I shan't dwell. Onward! If you haven't seen Eclipse yet (perish the thought!) retreat now or arm ye-selves. Thar be spoilers ahead mateys!

The movie centers around Victoria still trying to get vengeance for her mate James who is still dead after two movies (she needs closure). Victoria has decided the best way to achieve this is to start creating little vampires and making her own army to march against the Cullens so she can kill Bella...once and for all! Seems a little extreme to me, but it's her revenge so whatever. These new vamps are strong and plenty and the Cullen clan (looking more and more like perfect porcelain dolls each film) go to the Wolfpack for help. The two mortal enemies decide to put their mortal enemy affairs on hold and work together to defeat the bad vampire army. Mixed in with this we get more of the red-eyed Volturi in robes that just scream 'I'm very powerful and important.' We also get some nice scenes on Rosalie and Jasper's backstory, and some Quileute tribal history lessons as well. All cool. Jasper's still hot, the tribe is still cool and Rosalie is set up for greatness in the upcoming films.

Before I get to The Big Scene, I just have to say something about Charlie. If he wasn't my favorite character in these films before, he has that status now. His dad-isms to Bella about her relationship with Edward were some of the very best lines in the series so far. Their father-daughter bonding moment in the kitchen when he is awkwardly trying to address Bella's, ahem, hymenal state almost had me crying with laughter.
When Bella told him point blank "I'm a virgin" I wanted to throw one of my nachos at my daughter's head and give her the two-fingered 'I'm watching you' sign.) And Charlie's reaction to that announcement was dead-on. Yeah, big Charlie crush happening here. Hope his storyline from the books is followed in the final installments because this guy is just too precious to be alone.

I found out something surprising in this movie. Bella has a sense of humor. This chick is finally starting to acquire a personality and it makes me wanna get down on my knees, throw my arms up and praise something. She had a few self-deprecating moments, and her final speech at the end, when she explains to Edward that her decision to become a vampire and be bound to him for eternity is more about her own needs than his. She essentially shuts down the Team Edward-Team Jacob dispute by saying she wants to become a vampire because quite simply, she sucks at being human. Fair enough. Testify, sister!

Edward was in good form, despite displaying his stalker tendencies twice in the early portion of the movie. He disables Bella's car so she can't leave her house (oh hells naw) and then he gives her a line o' bull about her needing to see her mom before she's made a vampire and plays on her emotions (or stupidity) to get her out of town.
Both of these things infuriated me in the novels and did so once again in the movie, despite of - or maybe because of -Edwards less-than-poor excuse that he was doing it all to protect her. Uh huh. Life is so much easier when all the decisions are made, you know, for you, for your own good. Maybe Edward will take her cell phone away for a month and send her to her room in the next movie. AGH!

I was hoping my daughter was off getting a popcorn refill at these parts, and I was prepped to give her the 'don't let a man control you like that' speech that every mom has rehearsed at least a hundred times before their daughter reaches puberty. But as it turned out she was already on the ball and told me without prompting there was NO WAY she'd let a guy do that to her, and mama did a mental fist pump and silently cheered. She's smarter than a certain grown woman I know very well, and that's all Ima gonna say on that.

Anyway, Edward became slightly more tolerable later when he put the brakes on the almost-sex and tells Bella that he wants to court her and marry her before playing the show-me-yours game. Here, he seemed legit. Had he remained human back in 1902 (or whenever it was, I can't remember) that's the way things would have been done. It's important to him to protect Bella's virtue even if she is more than willing to abandon it herself. I can get that. And it's a far better answer than his original "if we have sex I'll probably kill you" excuse. More romantic, too.

Oh! And his crack about Jacob not owning shirts was awesome!

Now, to Jacob. I adore Jacob. He's the best friend every chick wants but we can't have because it eventually gets too weird if he's not gay.
And Jacob is very not-gay, and does everything short of slapping Edward with a glove and challenging him to a duel. Jacob lets is be known he wants Bella, he is better for her and he will fight for her. *sniff*
Jacob and Bella do share a sucky-face moment eventually and finally, but only after *drum roll* The Tent Scene!

This is where, the night before the big battle with the new-vamp army, Bella and Edward are (most chastely) sharing a tent but OMG it gets cold and snowy and drops below freezing in the pacific Northwest. Wow, what a surprise. Not.

Having absolutely zero cold-weather survival gear or skills, poor, pitiful Bella is all chattering teeth and lovely shades of blue and about to start losing fingers and toes. Her iceman boyfriend is only making matters worse, but thankfully Jacob, being a wolf, has a body temp higher than Mercury and oh-so-unselfishly (yeah, right) offers to act as Bella's personal space heater and plays the guilt card quite nicely. So we have this little threesome in the tent, with Jacob snuggled up with Bella while Bella's now-fiance' sits in the corner and silently fumes.

The two guys go back and forth for a bit while Bella slowly starts returning to her natural paleness and stops looking like an Avatar. They come to an understanding of sorts, they don't try to kill one another but they aren't exactly BFFs either. It was as close to how I imagined it when I read the books as I think was possible to have in a two hour movie. I was very pleased, and from this point on in the movie I was in my Twi-bubble of blissful happy. *sigh*

So blah blah blah later, the battle rages, the army is defeated, Victoria loses her head and all is right with the world until Jacob saves a (hot female) packmate from a late attack and gets a bunch of bones crunched.

(I have to point out, because it's too funny not to, that within seconds of this happening, the other wolves shift back to human form and then take time out of their busy saving-our-friend-who-was-almost-killed-and-writhing-in-agony schedule to go find and put on their clothes. Modesty over Emergency Medical Care, that's how we roll in the Twilight world lol lol lol)

Jacob is carried off for some really painful treatment and this is when Bella dumps him. Bella, you're a heartless bitch, even if he did ask for 'all the breaking to happen at once'.

We end with the already-mentioned Bella monologue and her acceptance of a really horrendous ring.

And there we have it. It wasn't perfect, but it was very good. I enjoyed it bunches.
Now I'm going to post without spell-check but True Blood is about to start!
Cheers!
~K

Season Three of Tru(th) Blood

"The truth will set you free!" says Hoyt during the season premier of True Blood last week.
Yeah, right, Hoyt. Spoken like a guy that hasn't just shot and killed someone and is knee deep in a plot with a recently sobered up cop to keep it under wraps.
But then we get this whammy from Jason, which I have a feeling (cough foreshadowing cough)will define season three:

"You wanna really fuck somebody's life up? Tell the truth about 'em!"

We're only two episodes in and already half the characters in True Blood are being chased around by the Upright Citizens Brigade with the Bucket of Truth. (if you don't get that reference, just google it. It's there, I checked.)

So what fun stuff is not setting anyone free but keeping lives un-fucked right now?

Eric and Queen Bitch.
Guess what? The magister didn't believe you. Not entirely. No one else believed you. At all. Even teacup humans wouldn't have believed you. The big Bucket of Truth is being delivered to you via FedEx and someone is going to have to sign for the mutherfucker. Battle it out but don't be suprised if there is enough room in the bucket for a Yahtzee party!

Jessica. Guess what little one? If you drink too much blood....tsk tsk, you get to nap with a rotting corpse. Gross. Seriously. Cooter.
The Bucket came calling for Jessica this time when she looked into the wallet of the recently deceased and realized even sleazy truckers picking up hot virgin teens for casual sex (I think that's the tag line on a pop-up ad I got once) sometimes have a little smiling child somewhere that loves them. A little child that now doesn't have a daddy. Sniffles.
I bet Hoyt would've helped you, Jessica, but oh, no no no, you're going to take care of the dead guy all by your big-girl self! That way no one will ever know!
Have fun owing your soul to whoever DID move that body for you, honeycomb.

Speaking of some fucked up childhoods, what about Sam?

I know many people found his family search tedious, but as an adopted kid I felt it. Right here. In my heart. I understand his motivation, I do. Hell, I went on a hunt for my biological family just to see if I was gonna get cancer or something. Believe me, if I had ever once looked down and saw myself humping a leg I would've looked a whole lot sooner.

And now that Sam has done found his kinfolk, does he know the truth about himself yet? Now that he's seen his shift(less) famila in the flesh, will he be happier for the experience? Too early in the season to tell, but I'm thinking the results of this endeavor will be mixed. (But seeing the Bucket of Truth splash across his little brother's (pitbull) face was almost worth the road trip. For me, anyway)

And can I have a moment here for Lafayette and his bat-crazy mother that has no problem at all dumping her personal Bucket on anyone that will listen. Which leads me to Tara. Who is still fucked up, and not at all pleased with Sookie giving her man the red pill. Poor Eggs....

Was Eggs a happier person when he knew the truth about himself, you think? I'd ask him but he's a wee bit busy getting fitted for his wings right now. I'll assume it's wings because in case you didn't hear Sookie tell Godric, God forgives.

And oh my god that comes! Jason! And Andy! WTF are they thinking? Those two are going to eventually have to take a good, long look in the Bucket of Truth because, well, no one gets away with murder except in real life. And it wasn't even murder, was it? Jason saw a knife wielding man standing over a cop. The real story might have been a little harder to explain, sure, but I think those boys could've made a case for what went down. But why be honest when it's so much easier to trade the gun off, make up a story, (not)screw two vet students and get to go on local TV as a hero?

And then we have the File of Doom at the Compton house. Dear me, why would one of the most promising young Vampires in Louisiana have such a thing (badly)hidden underneath his top desk drawer where any person off the street could find it within thirty seconds? (I hope all his credit card pin numbers are still safely hidden inside his wallet!) I'd like to think the thing was planted there by a super secret triple agent, but that would simply be too far fetched for a show with Vampires and Nazi Werewolves and Shapeshifters.

Yes, I fear the Bucket of Truth will be making the rounds through Bon Temps shortly. Bill didn't just casually take a stroll into Merlottes one hot summer night, did he? When he cast his eyes on Sookie's lovely face that second night, when he reached over and took her hand in his, gently, but not too gently, and asked if that was her name....Sookeh...?

Had he already memorized the information on her birth certificate at this point, do you think?

Let's just all be thankful it was just a file and not a hidden room with a woman pit and photos taped to the crumbling walls like some B horror flick.

And friends, this was just episode TWO! There is so much bullshit going on this year I'm not sure the Bucket of Truth is big enough.

And how absolutely, deliciously ironic was this?

"I lied to you."

Thank you Eric. I know that had to hurt.

~K

Twilight Mom Without Apology

I absolutly love the Twilight series. There, I said it. Go ahead and poke fun and mock me and tell me why the series and movies suck. Bring it on, baby, it won't bother me a bit because I've heard it all before, so many times the jabs have become like white noise in the background; almost soothing. Like Oms.

Now I'm not going to be talking about the good-natured, eye-rolling teasing. That's fun and I'll admit it, expected. I mean it is Twilight :)

It wasn't my daughters (12 and 15) that got me started on the series, though they have both read it. It was actually my galpals at work who insisted (and I do mean insisted) I take home the first book. I did, at first only so I could understand the twi-talk going on around me every day. Truly, it was like working in a place where everyone else was speaking a different language. (what is so exciting about a meadow and a tent? huh? We going camping?)

So I gave it a go, read about the first ten pages, scoffed and went to bed in utter confusion. This book...were they serious? The woman at work, they're savvy chicks. A few are really smart, like the kind of smart that makes smart people say daaaam! and I had a moment when I wondered if the obsession for this Twilight thing was some kind of mass hysteria brought on by simply being forced to work in a clinic full of nothing but women day in and day out (not an entirely unlikely scenario)

"This isn't going to work", I told everyone the next day, "if I wanted whining and angst I'd just go talk to one of my kids."

"Dawn," they told me (because that's my name, Dawn) "You have to keep reading. Trust us."

So I did and they were right. I was hooked, lined and sinked. (that's not a word, I know) I ended up on Twilight forums and camped out in line before the midnight showings of both movies (and yeah, I'll be there again in a few weeks for Eclipse. Can we all say TENT SCENE? Now I get it, oh heck yes!)

Like any other phenomenon, there's the inevitable backlash from people that just can't stand (I assume, which I shouldn't, but I do) to see other people enjoying themselves too much. There are Twilight jokes on prime time TV, Anti-Twilight forums and articles and t-shirts and blah blah blah. Twilight is simply bad, Bella is a terrible role model for girls, Edward isn't a real vampire (isn't that an oxymoron?) The list goes to infinity and beyond!

At first I used a kind of self-deprecating humour to deal with it all because I'm a pure Libra and as such I have no spine and an inability to take a stand on anything, ever. Plus I usually assume everyone else is right and I'm wrong because of really old daddy issues that haven't yet come to closure. I felt this peculiar need to apologise for my love of Twilight. Or defend it, which is much worse because that takes, you know, effort.
I couldn't understand why we all couldn't just be left peacefully alone in our own little bubbles of Twi-joy without some butthead trying to poke us with a stick. But now I don't care. I own my insanity and wear it proudly! (literally, I have Twi shirts. And pins!)

Moving on, if you've been in a crypt for the past many years and don't know, Edward is a sparkly vamp that has gone vegetarian(he doesn't eat humans, just animals) He and his clan do this because in the Twi-Saga vampires can't take a sip here and there and be done, they kill their prey in an unstoppable feeding frenzy. So of course we have this whole sappy sweet story where Edward falls in love with Bella but is afraid he'll drain her dry and he's always having to maintain this superhero control around her which means (OMG horror or horrors!) no sex. And guess what? The insistence on abstinence is his idea! (radical, dude!)
I'll spare further explanation and cut to the beating heart of the matter.

Chaste love has gone out of fashion in such a big way, so big that it's now worthy of vitriolic condemnation, it seems. A pity. Worse, how can I possibly explain to my girls, who love it so, why some people think I'm being irresponsible for allowing them to read or watch the series?

Now, from an adult view can I see some things in the story that that make me say 'Uh...no. Not really working for me here.' Of course there is, absolutely. But that doesn't mean I'm tossing the baby out with the bath water here, nor does it entice me to want to burn the books in the front yard as a sacrifice to the gods of feminism. I know a lot of what I view as possibly ambiguous is simply due to my own experiences. My daughters don't see any of these bothersome things and I'm not going to point them out, either. Why burden them with my own baggage?

Looks like Twilight is just another in a long list of stuff I enjoy and that I enjoy with my kids that will forever be ridiculed by certain factions.

Harry Potter? (Oh my, witchcraft! Sin! Hell!) The Little Mermaid? (Oh my goodness gracious, we're teaching our daughters they need to change to get a man!)Star Wars (Gentrification! hehe)

So yeah, I'm a Twilight Mom. See you on the 30th, midnight.

PS
Go Team Jacob!

Scarlett O'Hara was a Vampire

I guess I should say I think Scarlett O'Hara could have been a Vampire.

Since True Blood season three is starting up tonight *squeal* I can't keep my mind off blood-suckers! And between the ever-civilized Bill Compton and this new True Blood character King Russell Edgington, who will be riding up on his mighty, white steed later tonight, it's also got me turning my mind to the beauty and dignity that was the Old South. And to one of my most favorite movies ever, Gone with the Wind. Sigh.

Scarlett O'Hara is a legend. Untold numbers of people have praised and analyzed her character for untold reasons but she was really just a survivor in a time when it was survival or death. (See how I snuck in a True Blood quote? Didya? Didya?) Anyway, Scarlett was also a woman so her options in that time were limited. She's been called a feminist icon. Well, I don't know about that, but I do think she would have been a fantastic vampire.

Scarlett got by on her beauty when she was younger and she worked it. Hard. You could even call it glamour, the way she had these young men under her spell. She could get anything from anyone, with the very notable exception of Ashley Wilkes and she wanted him bad. Even when Ashley was promised to another, Scarlett refused to give up, the brazen hussy. She quite literally threw herself at him, using every single drop of charm and guile she possessed, but he still told her to piss off. (Nicely, of course, because he was the embodiment of a gentleman, sir.)

But when shit hit the proverbial fan, Scarlett vowed never to go hungry again. And like Jessica Hamby, she stuck to that promise. Two parts O negative to one part wild carrot. Yummy.

Scarlett was determined not to be crushed when her world crumbled around her. She manipulated everything and everyone. She used people at her leisure when times got tough, which was most of the time. She brazenly cast aside the mores of the day and behaved in ways that were downright scandalous. She tossed her own sister under the Old Maid bus by seducing her man so she could get her hands on his money. She looked down her nose at chained men being forced to work in her factory and tacitly allowed their abuse. She offered sexual favors in exchange for tax money and she put on quite a show to try to get it. She could lie with the best, turn on the tears when the occasion called for it and she could rock a red dress. She would have been great at fucking prohibition.

Scarlett was all about Scarlett, and I can't think of a single person she didn't view as a means to an end, mostly men. She was a lovely spider and every single person in her life was twisted up by her web. She counted on the goodness, the chivalry and honorability men of that era possessed, and then she used those qualities against them for her own gain. She fed on them as surely as any vampire and left them cold and drained. (usually of money)

Plus she was morally ambiguous, the embodiment of the argument between means and ends. Sure, she used the wealth she 'acquired' to pay for her family plantation, insuring her single, heart-broken sister and the rest of the clan weren't destitute on the street. She even magnanimously helped deliver the child of her romantic nemesis, Melanie, but only after slapping her young slave girl and threatening to sell her south.

Scarlett was elitist and vain, so she already had a good start on vamp life.
I loved watching her play her games even when she was being underhanded. (I also cheered when Rhett Butler finally had enough of her shit and walked out the door without looking back. Good for him.)

Now, if I had to pin down a reason why I found such a self-absorbed and many times heartless bitch so captivating, I don't know how good a reason it would really be. Good looks and high-spirited vivaciousness will only go so far. Her behavior was many times amoral and even downright mean. But when she was doing her thing her appeal couldn't be denied; just like a vampire, she had seductive appeal.

She was a survivor first, a capitalist second and a whole lotta other shit after that.

Yeah. She would've made a badass vampire.

~K